The Wrong Direction (English)
by Chatote
Summary: Tony is with the others avengers when he hear a song which remind him of his past. Oneshot. Tony Centric.


**Because each time I hear it, I think about Tony. Oneshot except if you want more and give me ideas.**

 **I do not speak english currently so feel free to point out my mistakes.**

 **Music: The Wrong Direction (Passenger)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything…**

Tony looked around. Every Avenger (Big Green, Capsicle, Point Break, Birdbrain, Natashalie and him) were in the living room of the Avengers' tower. Radio was on and some music was being played in the background.

Bruce was reading calmly on the couch. Steve, a pencil in the hand, had his eyes fixed on the drawing which was being created on the paper. Thor was in the kitchen, searching for some poptarts and Clint and Natasha were talking together, their discussion not hear by anyone else.

Tony smiled. He was happy, pleased with himself for having succeed in getting all those incredible people near him, safe and with all they could possibly dream for. « At least, I'd have accomplish something useful… » he though.

Sighting, he turned back to his phone. He had to focus on the datas Pepper Potts, his CEO, his ex-girlfriend, had sent him. He started to hum.

 _When I was a kid the things I did_

 _Were hidden under the grid_

 _Young and naive I never believed_

 _That love could be so well hid_

 _With regret I'm willing to bet_

 _And say the older you get_

 _It gets harder to forgive and harder to forget_

Tony couldn't stop himself thinking the song was true. He though about all those times when he had been betrayed by someone close to him, people he though were his friends. He though about Stane who he considered as his father. About how he had betrayed him without any remorse.

Even today, he couldn't completely trust anyone. Pepper had broken up with him, Rhodey had stolen his armor (even if it was planed, it still hurt), Happy had left him during the palladium poisoning and even if he trusted the Avengers with his life, he didn't told them anything too personal.

 _It gets under your shirt like a dagger at work_

 _The first cut is the deepest_

 _But the rest still flipping hurt_

 _You build your heart of plastic_

 _Get cynical and sarcastic_

 _And end up in the corner on your own_

He though about his father, Howard Stark. About the number of time when, young, he had hidden in a closet to delay the shoutings and the hits which fall undoubtedly. He had learned early, _too_ early, that you could only count on yourself. He had learned to hid his feelings deep, to not be hurt again.

Today, everyone safe for Pepper (even if the Avengers had their suspicions) though he was an egoist narcissist who only care for himself. Everyone though they knew Tony Stark. No one knew _Tony_. No one knew the person under the armor, the one which was't made of iron but of masks as hard or even more.

 _Because I'd love to feel love_

 _But I can't stand the rejection_

 _I hide behind my jokes_

 _As a form of protection_

 _I thought I was close but under further inspection_

 _It seems I've been running in the wrong direction oh no_

Honestly, his break up with Pepper had been one of the harder blow. It had taken him a long time to get close to her when he had hired her. He knew she'd left as everyone the moment she'll know him. But she had stayed. Just longer, thought. She had run away in the end.

After, Tony had hide his hurt by being even more sarcastic. No one had seen through it. He was good. _Too_ good.

Clint and Natasha, the super-spies, remarked that Tony had tensed and were looking him worriedly.

 _So what's the point in getting your hopes up?_

 _When all you're ever getting_

 _Is choked up_

 _When you're coked up_

 _And can't remember the reason why you broke up_

 _You call her in the morning_

 _When you're coming down and falling_

 _Like an old man on the side of the road_

The day after their break-up, Tony had stayed a longtime in bed, thinking. He had asked himself why she had left. « I can't bear wondering if my boyfriend will be still alive at the end of the day anymore » she had told her. Ironman. But Tony couldn't stop himself thinking that if he had spent less time in the workshop, if he had done the things differently, she'd still be here.

He had wanted to call her, to talk to her, to beg her to come back. But he hadn't. He owed her this. She had stayed on his side longer then anyone, safe for Happy and Rhodey.

Now that she wasn't here anymore, who else would come? She was the only one. The first one who had really else could love him? In the end, everyone left him. Perhaps, he was destined to die alone while others would marry and live happily.

 _Because when you're apart you don't want to mingle_

 _When you're together you want to be single_

 _Ever the chase to taste the kiss of bliss_

 _That made your heart tingle_

 _How much greener the grass is_

 _With those rose tinted glasses_

 _But the butterflies they flutter by_

 _And leave us on our arses_

He though about his period at the MIT. Rhodey had been his first real friend. In the beginning, Tony couldn't bear to have him on his sides. He knew he won't stay. But he was still here, years later.

When his 17 years-old self, during his first years at college, had understood that Rhodey was honest and kind and… friendly, that he really cared for Tony, life had been better. Tony had stopped self-hurting, He had started to see the good part of life. All he needed was someone to be here for him, someone who could offer him friendship.

 _Because I'd love to feel love_

 _But I can't stand the rejection_

 _I hide behind my jokes_

 _As a form of protection_

 _I thought I was close but under further inspection_

 _It seems I've been running in the wrong direction_

Bruce looked up from his book and saw Tony and his strange behavior. Well, stranger that per usual. The engineer wasn't loud and happy but… petrified. It scared Bruce. Hell, it terrified him out of his pants. Tony was sitting straight, eyes in the void, giving a thousand yard stare. Bruce could see all his feelings on his face for the first time since he had meet the other man. Sadness, betrayal, fear, hurt…

Clint and Natasha had seen it too and came closer.

 _There's fish in the sea for me to make a selection_

 _I'd jump in if it wasn't for my ear infection_

 _Because all I want to do is try to make a connection_

 _It seems I've been running in the wrong direction oh_

Maybe he should do as before. Before Pepper, before the Avengers. Not looking for anyone, not searching love. He'll content himself with one-night adventures. Being Tony Stark, the eternal play-boy. But deep in him, he knew he couldn't. Pepper had shown him love and had taken it back from him. He could feel a huge void inside of him which would never be fill again.

However, he was conscient that he already had more than he should. He had the Avengers. They were so better than him. That was why he had asked them to live here, in his tower. Of corse, he wanted them here so that the team would be assemble in case of an emergency and so that they could trust one another, but also to look up to them and try to be a good man.

All of the Avengers had seen his behavior and were looking at him around the couch. No one knew what to do.

 _I'd love to feel love but I can't stand the rejection_

 _I hide behind my jokes_

 _As a form of protection_

 _I thought I was close but under further inspection_

 _It seems I've been running in the wrong direction_

 _I'd love to feel love but I can't stand the rejection_

 _I hide behind my jokes_

 _As a form of protection_

 _And I thought I was close but under further inspection_

 _It seems I've been running in the wrong direction oh_

 _It seems like I'm running in the wrong direction oh_

 _Seems like I'm running in the wrong direction oh_

 _Well it seems I've been running in the wrong direction oh no_

 _Seems I've been running in the wrong direction_

Tony knew he was depressive. How couldn't he? He hadn't had a real childhood. His father was alcoholic and abusif and hated him. His mother was more preoccupied by her scotch's stock than by him. He didn't have any friend until 17 and by this age, he had already done three suicide attempts. He had been taken and tortured in Afghanistan and watched his friend, a good man he couldn't even dream to be like, die for him.

The man he considered as his father had tried to kill him. He had taken a nuclear nuke in the Universe and has seen how small and vulnerable Earth was. And, last but not least, after having almost lost his love due to Extremis, she had left. He had nightmares, PTSD.

« Tony? Tony! »

Tony go out of his thoughts to meet Bruce's worried face. He looked around him and saw that all the Avengers were watching him.

« Tony, you're alright? » Steve asked. Does everything was fine? Yes. Or no. Jarvis had turned off the music but the song still echoed in Tony's head.

« Why wouldn't it be? » he said with a smile. Not the real one, the one reserved for the press, Tony Stark's smile, the one everyone knew.

He stood up et walked toward the elevator. The doors opened the moment he arrived - the benefits of having an AI ruling the house. He walked in. Tony knew Jarvis would take him down to the workshop. He turned just before the doors closed and meet the troubled faces of his teammates.

Maybe he should have stayed. Maybe he should have talked to them. Introduce them to Tony. Maybe it would have solve some of his issues. Maybe.

« Starks do not cry », « Starks are men of iron ». His father's voice echoed in his head.

The doors closed. He was too used to go in the wrong direction.

 **I love Pepperony by the way, but for the story… I like Stony too ;)**

 **Who have seen the allusion to Sherlock Holmes 2?**

 **Maybe a second chapter with another song or the Avengers' reaction.**

 **Reviews are welcomed and encouraged :)**


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